Finding your Feminine Energy
Not all energy is created equal. And our sacred feminine energy is actually our superpower, writes Alina Yazaar…
Like everything in life, the power of our feminine energy has long been underplayed or dismissed. Seen as over-emotional, too gentle, too instinctive, we have been encouraged to harness, and value, only the more masculine energy within us – logical, focused, driven, protective.
And this energy has its place. One is not better than the other, and we need a balance of both divine energies to live a powerful, instinctive life. But in a world heavily biased toward masculine qualities, many of us struggle to find our sacred feminine power, to harness its potential and to truly acknowledge its power.
‘We need the masculine and the feminine for everything,’ says author Kate Northrup. ‘One is not better than the other. What’s been out of balance for thousands of years, though, is our over-emphasis of the qualities of the masculine as that which is good, right, and valuable.’
Dismissed as weak and soft, a barrier to success, feminine energy gets pushed aside for the results-focused masculine energy, at home and in the workplace.
‘So much is lost in the hyper-masculine,’ says Northrup. ‘We push ourselves to exhaustion because we’re so focused on results; we focus on domination and competition, missing opportunities for collaboration; we operate alone because we believe sharing the load makes us weak; and we put productivity over quality of life.’
Having abandoned the beauty of our feminine power, we’re scrabbling around, going too fast with no resources. ‘“We wear burnout like a badge
of honour,’ explains Niki Kinsella, the author of The Feminine Energy Guide.
‘Before discovering my feminine energy, I was suffering. Self-medicating with alcohol and drugs because I didn’t know any other way to deal with my »
anxiety and emotions. I was constantly on the go and always had to be doing something because I found it difficult to relax.”
What if we rewrote the narrative of our feminine energy as something profoundly nurturing, with strong boundaries, infused with ancient wisdom and a commanding intuition? Could we then see that power doesn’t have to
be masculine?
‘Many women feel pressure to be and talk and act masculine in order to succeed in their careers and in the world,’ says Rachel Rossito, who coaches women in awakening their female energy. ‘They may be CEOs in a world that rewards masculine qualities, but that doesn’t mean they can’t embrace and find power in their feminine ones. A woman who sources her creativity and energy from taking exquisite care of herself is more powerful than one who pushes so hard that she exhausts herself and is no longer experiencing joy and pleasure,’ she told Goop in 2021.
We believe we should lean in, when maybe we should lean back. And in fact, leaning back in the workplace is something some women are literally starting to do. Kate Northrup calls this ‘turning up the volume on my feminine energy’, while sexual wellbeing counsellor Nadege says it’s the one single thing she does that allows her to channel her feminine energy in a masculine world.
‘It allows a sense of calm to wash over me, without taking any power away from my intentions or passion. Leaning back, with the intention of receiving, produces the quiet confidence of femininity. One that demands that those around you provide value.’
There is power, strength and wisdom in our feminine energy. And, even more importantly, there is possibility too. Bringing to the world a new way of living and working together, one that values kindness, nurture, nourishment »
and intention.
‘For women, embracing the sacred feminine is about fully realizing her divine essence, standing in all her power, and creating a more harmonious world,” says Rachel Rossito, who coaches women in awakening their female energy.’
Finding the Feminine
Accessing your feminine energy is all part of the journey. You’ve likely had it mismanaged out of you by societal norms, so now it is time to slow down, step back and reconnect with your instinctive self.
‘Feminine energy is our natural intuition, our receptive, emotionally balanced gentle loving energy,’ explains Kinsella. ‘It feels soft and nurturing, it feels easy and flowing, it is not the busy, intense, doing energy of the masculine – it is the slower, being energy, where we surrender, let go, trust, and allow ourselves to be guided by how we feel.”
It’s no surprise then that the things in the world of wellbeing, mindfulness and intentional living capture all these qualities. Slow living, self-love, meditation, reflection, ritual and routine, learning the lunar cycles, setting boundaries, finding balance, communication, compassion – all these things not only capture the essence feminine energy, but they’re also the way you can access it.
‘We have cycles, just like the moon. Sometimes we feel high energy and full of life, and sometimes we feel like we need to slow down, even hibernate sometimes and hide away from the world for a bit while we rest and recharge. By honouring this ebb and flow, we learn to sync naturally with our feminine energy,’ adds Kinsella.
A first, and important step, is to bring into your daily habits an intentional connection with your intuition.
Rachel Rossito suggests developing a morning ritual specifically designed to help you access your sacred feminine. ‘A key element is the ability to be receptive. Take a moment in the morning to ground and connect with yourself, to enter into a receptive state where you get to listen to your heart and all the wisdom of nature around you. I find that by starting your day from that place…you can move through the world more deliberately, more intentionally, and more resourced from within.’
Simple ways to reconnect
Sacred Spaces: Create a space at home where you can meditate and reflect. Create an altar, just a candle, crystal or picture will do.
Set Intentions: Journal every day, in the morning, even if it’s one line, just set an intention to listen to your sacred feminine and get to know it.
Be Still: Sit with a cup of herbal tea for around 20 minutes. ‘Tea is an incredible ally for awakening the spirit, grounding the body, and coming home to yourself,’ says Rossito.
Breathe Deeply: Start slowly, five or so minutes if simple breathing practices. There’s lots to find online. Compile a list and work through them each day.
Connect with Others: Share this process of discovery with a friend. Text each other after you’ve done your morning practice.
Harnessing the Power
As you work through this process of reconnecting with the ancient wisdom inside, you will also need to learn to listen to your intuition, which is the truest sense of your feminine energy…
Intuition is something that we all have, we just don’t trust ourselves enough sometimes to listen to it. As women, intuition is something that we can tap into more easily, by simply trusting the feelings in our body and being guided by our internal compass. When we go with how we feel, we can never get it wrong. We just need to learn to trust ourselves,’ says Kinsella who has developed a five-pillar process for working with our feminine energy.
Pillar 1: Energy and the Chakras
There are seven chakras (‘wheels’ in Sanskrit), which are energetic connection points throughout the body. Connecting with these points helps us to understand the messages our bodies are sending us, our intuition, instinctive and powerful. ‘When we can understand our chakras, we are then able to hear the messages our beautiful bodies are giving us from the inside out, where do we need to heal, let go, and re-align?” asks Kinsella.
Pillar 2: is Mindset Mastery
Once we have learnt to understand and listen to our bodies, the noise of our minds becomes even easier to hear. ‘The things I was saying to myself were not very nice at all,’ recalls Kinsella. These elements of fear, limiting beliefs, boundaries, and comparison manifest in the things we tell ourselves, but now, knowing what they are, we can begin to identify triggers, become more self-aware and rework that negative self-talk into a positive.
Pillars 3 & 4: are the Laws of Attraction and the Power of Ritual
Understanding how our positive mindset and beautiful self-development rituals can open our minds to attracting even more magic and opportunity into our lives. ‘I believe in the power of magnetism. We attract other things and other beings that are vibrating at the same frequency as ourselves,’ says Rossito.
Pillar 5: Brings it Back to Intuition
Once you’ve learnt to listen, it’s time to go deeper, to connect with the spiritual side of who you are. ‘Trusting the internal nudges of your soul…taking steps towards the things that make you feel alive and light a fire in your belly,’ says Kinsella. Spiritual tools like tarot, meditation, spirit guides, the pendulum can help you become even more self-aware, so you can start making soul-guided, heart-led decisions about your life and business.
